Sometimes, sex can bring on unexpected feelings. You might experience a spontaneous orgasm that feels like it comes out of nowhere, or you might feel inexplicably sad after sex — a phenomenon known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD). Both of these experiences can be confusing, even upsetting.
It can be helpful to understand what these “phantom feelings after sex” are and what might be behind them.
This article will walk you through phantom orgasms, PCD, and other surprising feelings that can occur after sex. We’ll also look at the potential causes of these experiences and what you can do about them.
Spontaneous Orgasms: Unexpected Pleasure
Sometimes, orgasms happen without any intentional sexual stimulation. These are called spontaneous orgasms.
It’s important to know the difference between having a spontaneous orgasm once in a while, and having them all the time. Occasional spontaneous orgasms are usually not something to worry about. But if they’re happening frequently, or if they’re distressing, it’s a good idea to talk to a doctor.
Potential Triggers and Underlying Factors
One possible cause of frequent spontaneous orgasms is Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD). PGAD is when someone feels persistently aroused in their genitals, even when they don’t have any sexual desire.
Other things that might trigger spontaneous orgasms include:
- Certain medications, like rasagiline or atomoxetine.
- Using recreational drugs, like cannabis.
- Exercise, especially core exercises (some people even call these “coregasms”).
- Childbirth (sometimes called a “birthgasm”).
It’s also worth mentioning that orgasms can happen unconsciously, like during sleep. These are sometimes called nocturnal orgasms.
Postcoital dysphoria (PCD): The post-sex blues
Ever feel a little down after sex? You’re not alone. It’s called postcoital dysphoria (PCD), and it’s a range of negative feelings — sadness, irritability, anxiety — that some people experience after consensual, desired sexual activity.
It’s important to note that PCD is different than female sexual dysfunction (FSD) and doesn’t involve assault or forced sex, or the sexual transmission of viruses.
PCD is more often studied in women, but it definitely affects men, too. One study found that 41% of men reported experiencing PCD at least once. Another study found that 3% of men experience it regularly.
What causes PCD? Researchers think it could be related to a history of abuse, anxiety, depression, resentment within the relationship, or postnatal depression.
One thing that researchers have found is that intimacy and relationship closeness are not factors in PCD. You can be in a loving, supportive relationship and still experience PCD.
Diagnosis and Management
Seeking Professional Help
If phantom sensations are distressing or persistent, it’s important to seek medical attention. These issues can be embarrassing to talk about, but open communication with your healthcare provider is key to finding the right diagnosis and treatment.
Diagnosis of Spontaneous Orgasms
Diagnosing spontaneous orgasms typically involves:
- A detailed medical history
- A physical examination
- Possible neurological or blood flow tests
Management Strategies for Spontaneous Orgasms
Treatment is tailored to the underlying cause. Potential management options include:
- Medication changes
- Avoiding triggers (like certain exercises or medications)
- Topical agents
- Nerve blocks or surgery (in rare cases)
- Stress reduction techniques
Management Strategies for Postcoital Dysphoria
Management strategies for Postcoital Dysphoria include:
- Therapy (like cognitive behavioral therapy) to address any underlying mental health issues
- Open communication with your partner
- Stress reduction and relaxation techniques
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I feel derealization after sex?
Derealization after sex, feeling detached from reality, can stem from various factors. Hormonal shifts, particularly the release of oxytocin and endorphins, can alter your perception. For some, it might be linked to underlying anxiety, stress, or even past trauma triggered by the intimacy of the experience. If it’s persistent or distressing, talking to a therapist could provide valuable insights.
Why do I feel depleted after sex?
Feeling depleted after sex is actually pretty common, so drinking water afterwards can help. Physically, sex can be demanding, and the release of hormones can lead to a temporary dip in energy levels. Emotionally, it might be due to vulnerability, unmet needs, or simply the intensity of the connection, and it may leave you wondering if having to pee affects your performance. Making sure you’re hydrated, well-nourished, and engaging in self-care afterward can help.
How to snap out of derealization?
If you’re experiencing derealization, grounding techniques can be helpful. Try focusing on your senses – notice the colors around you, the sounds you hear, the textures you feel. Deep breathing exercises can also calm your nervous system. If these techniques don’t provide relief or the derealization is frequent, seeking professional help is advisable.
Is it weird to feel weird after sex?
Absolutely not! It’s entirely normal to experience a range of emotions and sensations after sex. From feeling incredibly connected to feeling a bit vulnerable or even confused, there’s no “right” way to feel. Open communication with your partner and self-awareness are key.
Why do I feel disoriented after sex?
Feeling disoriented after sex can be attributed to the surge of hormones and the intense physical sensations. It’s similar to the “high” some people experience after intense exercise. Usually, this disorientation is temporary and resolves on its own. However, if it’s accompanied by other concerning symptoms, consulting a healthcare professional is a good idea.
Key Takeaways
Phantom feelings after sex can take many forms, and they may have many causes. Some people experience spontaneous orgasms; others experience persistent genital arousal disorder. Both can be distressing, but there are ways to manage them.
If these sensations are interfering with your daily life, it’s important to get help. Talking with a professional can help you understand what’s going on and how to manage it.
These sensations are complex, but they can be managed successfully. If you’re experiencing them, you’re not alone, and help is available.